Wednesday, January 17, 2018

I Am More . . .

“I Am More … “
A deeply personal personal piece. For me it’s symbolic of an emotional and physical rebirth. 

The last couple of years I’ve had some horrible things come up for me; repressed memories of sexual assault, diagnoses of PTSD, Major depressive disorder, acute anxiety disorder. I’ve been diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease on top of the Celiac Disease I’m already dealing with. My cat that I’ve had since I was 7 died at the age of 19. I almost killed myself. I went to the hospital for a week to recover on a psych ward.
I’ve had to quit my jobs, (go on hiatus for one of them) and move back home with my parents because my physical health is so poor.
But I am not my sicknessness. I am not my mental illnesses. I am not my pain. I am so much more.
I am in therapy and I am seeing an incredible doctor. I am on the road to healing and I can feel it. I am not pausing my life, despite barely being able to leave my bedroom some days. I am taking online art classes and I am learning new things. I am working on my book almost every day. I am reading, both fiction and books to help me learn and grow.
I am more than you see. I am breaking out of my chrysalis. 
Technical Info:
Holbien and Windsor Newton Watercolors on Arches Rough 300gsm/140lb Watercolor Paper, with metallic silver ink and metallic gold prismacolor markers. 
This was a learning experience. It’s not executed as perfectly as I would have liked and looking at it now I feel there are things I could have portrayed better. However, overall, given that I’m only just now beginning to get into water color very seriously, I am quite proud of the end result.